Because I’m selfish. I’m a coward. I’m the kind of girl who, when she might actually be of use, would run to stay alive and leave those who couldn’t follow to suffer and die.
No wonder I won the games. No decent person ever does.
#the third gif honest to god makes my heart speed up#because we know how allison was raised how she grew up#thinking that she always had to be perfect she was NEVER allowed to make mistakes or slip up or be a normal girl#and throw into that she now knows about her family about what her family does and she’s trying to make up for that#be the perfect girlfriend to your werewolf boyfriend#but she slips up anyways#insinuates he isn’t normal#and it’s wrong and it BOTHERS her because she isn’t allowed to make mistakes#and she isn’t allowed to make it seem like there’s anything WRONG with him#that she’s anything like her family#and you see this all over her face in the third one#and you see scott#who is just#who is just so blindly fucking in love with her that the idea of her not being perfect#of her offending him#never even crossed his mind#but her sees her#he knows her#and he leans in to press his face to hers to remind her that it’s okay#that he knows what she meant#that she doesn’t have to walk on eggshells or perform or be CAREFUL with him#that he’s her safe place to come home to not the judges she has to perform for#his love for her and his understanding of her family and his acceptance of everything she is#it could power a city#and you see the exact moment when she remembers that it’s okay#that this is scott#and that she doesn’t have to explain herself#and i am devastated via (x)
I’m not… Fearless. I’m terrified. I’m always terrified. I act like I know what I’m doing, but I don’t. I don’t know if Isaac is dying right now. I don’t know if I made a mistake with Scott. I don’t know what my dad is thinking. I don’t know if we should trust Derek. I don’t know… I don’t know anything.
"i’m not ignoring you i just don’t know what to say to you" a film written, directed, produced by and starring me